Steel Blue
by PinkCandy-x
Summary: What exactly did happen during Christian's childhood?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own any aspect of The Fifty Shades trilogy.**

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_Prologue:_

I finger the fleece blanket delicately, running my index finger over the roughened material.

_Mommy! Mommy! _

The steel blue blanket is tarnished with dirt; brown dust decorates its edges whilst a mixture of black and red stains create a morbid pattern.

_Mommy wake up! My tummy hurts..._

It's hard to believe the stitches haven't loosened or come undone after all these years, considering everything my blanket has been through.

_Mommy is so cold..._

I inhale deeply and grimace, clenching my eyelids together. It smells of them. Of cigarettes, booze and coke. It's been twenty-four years, and the crack whore and her pimp still won't leave me alone.

I bring the blanket up to my cheek and rub my face against it tentatively, breathing softly. It was the only thing that ever offered me constant comfort during those four years, the only thing that ever gave me unconditional warmth and stability. I'm still indebted to that friendly, faceless policewoman who saved my life when she found me on the sticky green rug playing with my cars; she was the one who told my mother that it was my blanket, and suggest I keep it.

I curl my lip up slightly and bring the blanket down onto my lap, glancing at my study door for a moment. Thankfully, Ana is out shopping with Miss Kavanagh and she needn't know about this. Folding the soft, grimy material into a thick rectangle I hold it once more briefly, before stuffing it into my mahogany desk drawer and out of my sight.

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**Very short I know, but I'm going to start getting into the core of the story in the next chapter. This prologue was more to test the waters. =]**


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm pregnant!"

"...What?" he sounds disbelieving.

"I'm pregnant!" I repeat, squealing happily and resisting the urge to twirl about the bedroom. "Isn't it amazing!? Here, look at the test!" I scramble through my jeans pocket and pull out the white instrument, jabbing my fingers at the lines that show magnificently. "See! _Two_ blue lines! As clear as can be! We're pregnant, Andrew, _pregnant_!" I squeal once more and leap upon him for an embrace, wrapping my arms strongly around his firm body whilst my fingertips stroke his back gently.

Bringing his arms up, he squeezes me back hesitantly, palms flattening on my back. _Shit_; his body is trembling, quivering like ripples in the ocean; the large hands that clasp me are shaking as he nuzzles his chin laced with new stubble into my copper brown hair. "Andrew?" I say softly, stepping back slightly yet remaining close enough to keep our bodies entwined. "Are you... okay?" _Stupid question, Ella_! _Does he look okay_!? His grey eyes are blank, unfocused and unblinking, even his long, thick eyelashes look like they're standing on edge. His usual rosy, cream coloured skin seems to have ran off, leaving me with a ghost white fiancé that seems to have acquired new huge, innocent deer-like eyes. "...Andrew?" I murmur timidly. _Speak baby, say something_!

"P-pregnant?" He stutters lowly, his lovely eyes widening further before screwing up in anguish.

"Pregnant." I confirm, sounding more confident than I felt. Breaking our embrace completely, in my own I grasp his hands tightly; they're sweaty, cold and clammy, an unattractive combination which I would have teased him about in _any_ other given situation. Slowly, I withdraw one hand to pat my slim belly which, annoyingly, won't be so slim in three months. It will no doubt protrude like a swollen jellyfish head or medicine ball, giving me back aches and stretch-marks as additional prizes alongside sore, swollen breasts, black eyes from fatigue and morning sickness. I gasp in sudden shock and realisation, "you'll leave me, won't you?" I whisper, my eyes darting to stare at the pale cream carpet instead of his mortified sweet face. Of course! _That's_ why he won't speak! He'll leave me, and he already knows he will! What sort of a young man wants a fat, ugly, pregnant teenager by his side? None! "You're going to leave me-e," I stammer, my voice breaking as water wells in my eyes, _please don't leave me_ I beg internally.

"Oh, Ella!" Andrew breathes, pulling me against him and hugging tightly whilst decorating my hair with small, dry kisses. "Oh Ella," he repeats, "my Ella, my Ella, my Ella! How could you _think_ such a stupid thing? Oh! My beautiful Ella!" And pecking my hair once more, he brings my face up to meet his and kisses me deeply, his tongue dancing and moving with my own. "I love you so much, you silly girl," he exhales, wiping a solitary tear from my cheek, "make sure you don't ever forget that," and smiling gently, he holds my hand with the one that holds the tear.

Swallowing, I gaze once more into his loving eyes."So.. this means you're ha-apy?" And, as my voice cracks once more, warm, fresh tears fall down my face.

"Oh baby, _of course_ I'm happy!" he says firmly, "I'm incredibly happy! But my God it's a shock, we were using protection!"

"Obviously condoms and the rhythm method aren't good enough - and don't use The Lord's name in vain," I scold haughtily before suddenly remembering one _very_ important fact. "What about your parents?" I whisper, "what will they say?" Hearing him groan, I flicker my eyes to the floor length mirror opposite us and stare at our reflections. I look awful; pale, pasty white skin to match the decorative mirror frame. I'm sure I was glowing before, with pride and absolute happiness at the thought of being a mother to Andrew's child, but his _parents_! Oh help! They've looked after and treated me so damn well and I've already betrayedthem within seven months of living here! What was the one thing they asked Andrew and I to comply with? Oh yes – not to indulge in premarital sex! You _fool_, Ella! You silly, randy, stupid fool! my conscience screeches.

"They'll be fine with it," Andrew spoke curtly, "forget about them."

"But Andrew, they'll-"

"But nothing. I said to _forget_ about them," and, crossing his strong arms, Andrew fell in deep thought, his grey eyes burning deeply. "...Tell you what though," he grins, "I'm going to take out _my_ girl and _our_ baby for dinner tonight. Hell! We should be celebrating, not worrying! A child is... breathtaking, and I want to see that glorious, radiant look you had on your face only five minutes ago."

"But what about money, Andrew, things are already har-" And one harsh look from my finance told me to shut up. His domineering nature didn't rear its ugly head too often but when it did, all who knew my blond man knew to just close the mouth, open the ears and do as he commands. I nod slowly and then break out into a wide grin. "You do know how to look after me."

He nodded once, before his eyes crinkled and those gorgeous lips turned upwards. "I try. Now go and have a bath, relax yourself. _I'll _do all the worrying and thinking, although I'll probably leave that until after dinner and tonight – now I know nothing more can happen," he winked and spoke the word '_tonight_' sensually, chuckling and then turning to walk out the room. I clasp myself tightly as I watch those long legs leave, my mind whirling with mixed emotions although happiness and worry far outweigh any of the others. Shaking my head to rid my anxiousness so my long hair bounces around me, I smile as my beau did, and grab my towel.

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**First of all, thank you so much for all the reviews! Reading them really made me smile, and that's always nice, so I really do appreciate it! Secondly, I am so sorry for this long ass update – and I will be blaming work, university preparation and the Olympics for this, but on another note, aren't Bolt and Daley yummy? :3 And o, as there was proooooobably a big bunch of mistakes in this, I would really appreciate some constructive criticism. Thanks again. x**


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